Sensitive topics (like money, family expectations, prenups, religious differences, etc.) will inevitably come up as you plan your wedding.  These types of topics lead to difficult conversations because we have particularly strong feelings and opinions about them.  Any emotionally-charged topic is going to be difficult to talk about.

That’s why is so important to talk about these topics with an open mind and an emphatic heart.   This way, potential arguments can turn into opportunities to connect with your partner on a deeper level.  

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For Example…

When I was planning my wedding, Luis and I couldn’t agree on a budget!  In a nutshell: I’m the saver, he’s the spender.  So you can imagine how tough it was for us to have the budget talk!  We had several discussion and arguments over it.  

When we stopped arguing and started listening – we realized that the issue wasn’t about the wedding budget at all.  The real issue was about our disparate philosophies about money in general.  

We had been together for many years by the time we got engaged, but this was the first time we had a deep talk about money.  We learned something new and we were able to understand each other better.

The point is!  These difficult conversations about sensitive topics are a blessing in disguise – look at these moments as golden opportunities to connect with your partner.  

Three Tips for Difficult Conversations

While it’s impossible to agree on everything, you can do your best to communicate your feelings and needs effectively.  So here are three super simple tips to help you get talking about sensitive topics effectively:

1. Don’t Assume

Assumptions can begin even before you start a difficult conversation.  For example, if you’re dreading the conversation because you think it’ll be an agonizing discussion where you might have to sacrifice your needs – well … that’s an assumption.  And if you start a conversation with a negative perspective – guess what?  You just might have a negative, ineffective discussion.  So don’t make any assumptions.  

2. Listen

When two people are laser-focused on getting their points across, refusing to listen – no one gets heard.  So make sure to give your full attention and listen with an open non-judgmental mind with the goal of understanding your partner.

3. Practice Empathy

Empathy means putting yourself in your partner’s shoes to better understand where they’re coming from.  An easy way to do this is to literally forget about your own issues for a moment, and take on your partner’s perspective.  This truly helps to increase the level of understanding, compassion, and concern for each other’s needs.

I hope you’ll give this a try and next time you find yourself in a tough conversation, keep an open mind and an open heart to allow for a deeper connection about the underlying issues.